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Every parent wants to encourage their children to be successful, but the very fine line between encouragements and pushiness is all to easy to cross.

Many parents, concerned about alleged falling standards of education in the state sector, are prepared to part with thousands of pounds per year in order to have their children educated privately – whilst those unable to afford private education often try to move into the catchment areas of successful, high-achieving state schools. But whilst it may be true that private schools can offer advantages such as smaller classes, more specialist teachers and more exotic extra-curricular activities and excursions, there is still no substitute for that most precious commodity a parent can offer a child: time.

All children need to have mastered the core subjects of English and Maths. These were previously known as The Three Rs – Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic – but have now been re-named as Literacy and Numeracy. This is one area where parents can be extremely supportive but without appearing to be pushy. It is never too early to introduce a child to books, whilst car journeys can be enlivened by listening to CDs of favourite stories or educational songs (such as those for learning the times tables) – and even everyday trips to the supermarket can provide an excuse for simple exercises in counting, addition, subtraction or multiplication.

A caring parent will always offer a child support and encouragement, and will also steer the child towards making his or her own way and developing his or her particular strengths and talents. In the same way, no caring parent will ever try to force a child into an activity where that child shows no ability or aptitude. No tone-deaf child will ever become a master musician, nor will a child with two left feet ever become a prima ballerina.

In his novel May Contain Nuts (first published in 2005), the writer John O’Farrell brilliantly satirises the lengths to which some over-pushy parents are prepared to go. The novel describes how one mother is so desperate that her daughter should get into the local “good” secondary school that she disguises herself as her daughter and sits the entrance examination in her place. Extreme (and thankfully fictional) though this case may be, it does serve to demonstrate the overall idiocy of the current trend.

It is vital that the child should eventually be able to succeed as an individual, on the strength of his or her own talents and abilities. A child who has been artificially groomed for an environment in which he or she will constantly struggle is doomed to failure. At the end of the day, an over-pushy parent does the child no favours whatsoever.

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